Morbid Much?

Knowing that I may very well get bad news on Tuesday when I go to my doctor's appointment, my mindset has been quite dark lately. SO dark, I had to take a break from my main blog becuase I don't want to be a total downer!

One thing I have been thinking about is calling to get some life insurance quotes. Right now, Hubs has life insurance through work for himself, But not for me and the boys. I doubt that even if I got insurance by Tuesday morning they would honor their commitment if something did go wrong. I bet there is a waiting period before the insurance kicks in.

My mom got life insurance in June or July, and then in August, at her yearly physical found out she had diabetes, and then in October she found out she had Lung Cancer. When she Died in February (ironically, one day after MY appointment to see if I have cancer) Her life insurance covered every outstanding bill her and my dad had - INCLUDING their house!

I know that this helped my dad a lot in the years after my mom passed away, and I wonder if I am being selfish not preparing my family the same way... Onces my appointment on Tuesday is over, It will be too late. No insurance company will insure sick person!

(I am very scared)

Bad Dreams

We had a dog hen I was a child, She was never spayed and had a few batches of puppies. I'm sure she would have had puppy upon puppy until she was too old to bear, but she committed suicide at the ripe old age of five.

My husband also had a dog as a child. His dog, a male, Was neutered. But he came home from the vet a different dog then then fun loving one that went in. Toto had turned mean over night. Biting, growling, he was a menace. becuase my MIL owned a daycare, she eventually got rid of the dog. Dogs who bite are too big of a liability when you care for other peoples children.

Smokey goes in to the Vets the evening of the sixth to be spayed. She has to fast, and we were sure we would be unable to ignore her water dish antics so we opted to have her stay over night to fast and have her operation early in the AM on the seventh.

Logically I know she will be fine. I do. We have talked to a fair number of people about the vet we use and not one of them has a bad story to tell. (Several did about the previous vet). And I also know she HAS to be fixed. I would be unable to give away or sell any pf her puppies becuase I would fall in love with them. And puppies cost a lot of money! So. She has to get fixed.

It's just that every night I have the same dream with small variations. Each time, Smokey comes home a changed dog. She growls at the children. She is mean.

In the dream I am walking down the hallway toward the living room when I hear him scream. I run, but just as I round the corner I see the baby lean down to hug Smokey, inadvertently pressing on her recent stitches. It hurts her and she barks, growls and turns to him.

Sometimes she simply bites him and we drive him for stitches, other times, like last night, by the time I reach them, she has tore the baby's arm clear off. And the dream does not end there. I have to sleep through the panic of trying to call 911. I soak up endless rivers of blood, waiting for the ambulance, as my baby screams in my arms.

The closer we get to the date of her surgery the more vivid and disturbing my dreams get.

Good news/Bad news

I absolutly hate when someone says to me " So. Do you want the good news or the bad news?" Immediately I think the worst. (I mean death, dismemberment, chaos in the streets!)

For that split second I am given, I struggle with should I ask for the bad, hoping the good makes up for it, or ask for the good, so I am in a good enough frame of mind to deal with the bad...

In the end I always ask for the bad news first. But that is not the point. I hate being put on the spot. I hate having to choose!

And so...Thursday night after work, hubs came in and said "So. Do you want the good news or the not so good news?"

Sigh.

The good news turned out to be super great news! his entire plant got a bonus - almost 1400 bucks, but taxes took over five hundred away.

The not so good news, is in my opinion at least, also good news. Mandatory overtime for the next three Saturdays.

In four years the husband will get a month of paid leave from work to use each year. When that time comes, we want to go on a cruise. So the bonus he got is going to be the start of our savings for that trip. Tomorrow afternoon we will zip down to the bank and open a checking account to store the money in.

But I still hate the good news/bad news question!

Confessions of a closet Hypochondriac

I hate reading blogs by people who are sick.

There I said it.

My problem is that as they describe their symptoms and what they are going through I start to believe I have it to the point where I have panic attacks. I can't sleep at night for fear!

Here is a good example. Late last night, using the Stumble tool bar I came across a blog written my a woman who has breast cancer. Immediately I had her symptoms. I knew I should click the X, leave the page and try to forget about her heart wrenching story, but I read on and on. I did [enter random number here] self breast exams, in the shower, sitting, laying down, searching for the lump I knew had to be there.

Thank God there was no lump, but still, I found it really hard to close off my mind to the possibility that night when I tried to fall asleep.

I have taken on symptoms of Irritable Bowel syndrome, restless leg, fibromyalgia and even bad colds, just from reading other peoples posts.

I try my best to not read them, but I think it is like passing a car accident on the highway, I just cannot look away, and int he end I suffer the consequences by spending hours google-ing symptoms, having panic attacks, and suffering from insomnia.

T-Minus Seven days. And Counting

Every winter my in laws desert me for the warmth of Arizona. I dread the weeks they are gone. One very important reason is that in the winter it is really, REALLY cold. I worry about the boys walking to school in minus 35 weather.

The other reason I miss them is that they take the boys - on average - two nights a month, letting me and hubs have quality Alone time together.

It's hard for me to be excited for them when they call to tell us how the planning is going. This year, it's almost like they have bought a second hometo stay in!

They will have a full sized fridge and stove, washing machine and dryer, TV with cable and High Speed Internet access. They are looking forward to going, and I hate to rain on their parade by whining about it...

But I feel how I feel, and how I feel is deserted!

The choice was taken from me

Each winter my in laws desert me and run off to Arizona for six to twelve weeks. I hate them for it. A lot.

Lol.

They tend to take the boys every weekend for a few weeks before they leave to give us time to get things done [insert kissy kissy face here] They took the boys last night and we decided to see a movie.The question was : which of the many movies out there is The One that we really want to see on the big screens. Chances are good that this is the last movie we will go out to see until the in laws get home.

two movies that both of us really wanted to see were Cloverfeild and I am Legend. In th end we decided that Cloverfeild needed to be seen on the big screen more than the other. Except Cloverfeild was SOLD OUT [pls read that with flashing lights] so we had no choice but to see I am Legend.

sigh

I am Legend is quite good by the way.

On a Roll

Last week I shelled out three bucks for a scratch lottery ticket. I won five. I paid three bucks for another one, and won ten. Then I paid three bucks and bought another one and won five.

This was on three consecutive days. so I'm up what? i dunno ten bucks? Math is hard for me.

Then my in laws came home and started picking the boys up from school again so I stopped buying tickets but still had the cash in my wallet.

Today I went to get Rainbow Man from school, but first I stopped off and paid three more bucks for a scratch lotto ticket - and won fifty bucks.

I rock!

Ebay makes me Cry

On the 24th of December I bought something off eBay. According to the message I got from paypal, it was shipped on the 27th of December. Pretty darn fast for over the holidays, huh?

It is now the seventeenth of January, ten days shy of a month since it was shipped first class international and I still have not received my order.

I sent a message through the eBay message system to the seller asking if they had a tracking number for my order at nine this morning but have not received a reply. I do not expect a reply, to be honest becuase when I was paying for my order I sent a message to the seller asking them to double check shipping -0 it seemed awful low compared to what other sellers were charging for the same item - I did not get a reply from them at that time.

(ebay sellers are like commodity brokers, when they have something everyone wants they can charge as much as they want for the item and still get it, so I was shocked that while the price of the item was par with the other eBay sellers, the shipping was 1/3 what every one else was charging!)

I wonder what I do? Keep waiting? Try to contact the seller again? Contact eBay?

what would you do?

Vehicular Modifications!

We have a 1995 Ford Taurus, and it is showing it's age. A lot! In the summer we tried to take it camping, and pulled a very tiny tent trailer almost forty miles - then te engine over heated and we were stuck on the side of the road. Then we had to get all new tired and new brakes in the rear becuase they had seized up.

On the 22rd of December our car decided to have the front brakes fail - while I was driving on the highway with Stuperman! We had to replace those on the 27th - that was the soonest we were able to get into the city!

Sure we save a lot on labor becuase Hubs and his dad do all of the repairs, but the parts part is getting pretty expensive. I wonder how long until we are forced to replace it? We need a car that works reliably because Hubs works in the city - a fifteen minute drive there and back five days a week.

We are crossing fingers toes and elbows that the car will last just two and a half more years. Then Stuperman will be in school full time and I can get a part time job. A part time job would pay well enough that we could meet a car payment but at the same time, wouldn;t pay so much that it would reflect on our taxes!

I know that Hubs wants a sporty car, with heated seats and car spoilers and the like, But I really miss our van and If I was the decided in the type of vehicle, We would get a van in a heartbeat!

Cars - Sigh

Our car was made in 1994. or 5. I forget which one. In any case, it is old. And falling apart. Last night I Was very board and decided to take Stuperman and head to the city for coffee. All was fine going there - the brakes seemed a little off, but it's winter, everything is slippery then.

Unfortunately, the brakes failed completely on the way home. NO worries, This was not my first experience with no brakes, so after I calmed down, Me and Teh Baby were fine. We coasted to a stop.

Teh Baby did learn a new four letter word beginning with F though..

In any case, when we went to my dads today for Christmas Part Teh One, We took my In laws car. Never even thought to check that the trunk was empty for bringing home things!

After turkey and dessert, Hubs went to load up the trunk with all of our loot and the darn thing was half filled with stuff. One smart thing was a shovel and a travelpro suitcase filled with emergency roadside supplies.

I should get some things together for our car so that when the brakes are fixed we are all set to go!

*giggle* I'm so sneaky

Well. I lasted until 11:15 this morning before having my first smoke.

I'm such a loser!

Our video of the foam mattress commercial is up at Where Was I ( Link in the side bar)

Although I find the word Stressmas hilarious I do not find The holidays to be stressful.

I love the holiday season.

I wrote SNACKAGE on the shopping lists and therefore my diet has been crucified.

I'm pretty tired. What are the chances of all the kids having a nap this afternoon so I can too?

SQUEEE the Christmas Concert is tomorrow!!

Did youlike my WTF bullet list with NO bullets?

Making Movies

So we are almost done taping all of the parts of the commercial we are maming about memory foam mattress for bed in a box.

I am pretty excited about how it is going, but I will wait to see the clips on the computer monitor and until the editing is done before I get too, too excited!

Our Star in the video Is Rainbow Man. He is quite the little actor, and is always willing to improvise and improve on his lines.

I need to convince Hubs to stop the obsessive TV watching for a few minutes to tape the last part, so later vader!

SNACKAGE

As I said in the post before, we went shopping today. You see, every two weeks, the Saturday After Payday, we go grocery shopping. Other than that day, we do not go shopping. If it was not on the list, then too bad, so sad.

We do buy milk and gas - but the kids need milk and the car needs gas and you cannot buy those items bulk.

So on the list in big bold letters today, I wrote : SNACKAGE

For the last week and a half I have just been insanely craving snack items, but since they were not bough shopping, too bad, so sad.

Today I bought three different types of chips, flavored crackers and three boxes of Christmas Chocolates.

I am SO addiced to Christmas Chocolates that my husband remarked I will need to go to a drug rehabilitation center after Christmas to get over my addiction!

I told him to STFU.

What happens at the mall, Stays at the mall

Today was quite the day. I talked about something BIG happening at Casa Del Bluepaintred over here. It's actually quite saddening.

But before all of that happened, Me and Hubs had spent soem time in the Malls doing our shopping. Not Stressmas shopping, but our normal every two week grocery shopping.

We did stop at a kiosk in the mall and pick up some touchable bubbles for the boys, but they are wicked cool, so whenever I see them I pick them up. The fun started when we were waiting in line to pay. A big, burly guy, more lumberjack than metrosexual was ahead of us. His pending purchase was hidden from view - deliberately. He had his hand over one end, and his wallet over the other end.

Normally, I don't care what people are buying, but when they try and hide it, then I get curious. I knew he would have to reveal it when he went to pay for it, so I waited paitently.

Silly men!

His purchase was one of those desk calenders. You know, with a page a day. The shocking part? It was called 365 HUNKS.

LMAO

When I saw it I was tempted to ask him if he was a top or bottom, but then I might have needed the services of a personal injury lawyer!

Live in Raleigh? here's a link to a Raleigh personal injury lawyer

Winter sucks : reason eight hundred and thirty nine

I know that my weight gain is a huge part of why my health is failing so quickly. My back is sore becuase my tummy is too fat. My feet and joints are sore from carrying this extra thirty pounds around. And yet? For seven or eight months of the year, to go outside and walk around the block I would be risking frostbite - of the lungs and extremities.

I don't have the money for a gym pass, and if I did, I have three small boys who have needs. I am not saying I never leave the house, but I do only go out once or twice a month, and that is after they go to sleep.

No a gym membership is out.

So the only thing I can thing of is to get some sort of elliptical machine. I know for a fact that when I have my iPod on I can tune out everything, I spend a lot of nights sewing that way, and you would be surprised at how fast the work goes when there is good music to listen too.

I have a room all set up for an elliptical machine too. All that is in this room is my sewing machine and the dogs kennel, so I would be able to exercise and take some time to myself without the nose and the constant I wants of the kids.

What do you think? Have you bought an exercises machine and then watched it collect dust or did you put it to use and watch your inches melt off?

Sigh

Its like mother nature hates me.

In the last hour we have had an inch and a half of that hateful frozen white stuff. Just yesterday I killed my back getting rid of all the snow. My driveway sidewalks and steps were spotless. And now I cannot see where they start and the road begins.

Really there is no point in me telling hte eight year old to go and shovel when it is still pouring down from the clouds. He would have half of it done, look back and the part he had already done would be covered again.

But I really hate having the snow there. It gets dragged in on boots and makes a mess of my mat, and it is a hazard when Smokey has to go and she runs really fast.

No matter how much it bugs me to see it out there I refuse to shovel it myself. I just can't.

omg bullets

• you have no idea how sore my back is. No. Idea
• I am very excited that tonight is BFF Kissys Birthday. More for the fact I will get to see her than the fact it is her birthday
• Hubs forgot to take out the trash this morning so I had to.
• This is bad because of bullet number one
• I will not shovel now again this year by the way.
• either Mr. Eight year old can do it and get paid like he said he would OR it won't get done. Their choice
• I have a little hand held massager. Last night I was sitting on teh couch with it pressed against the small of my back.
• The dog is terrified of it.
• I need to start spending less time online becuase sitting here is making my back hurt more.
• Anyone know if those creams for sore backs actually work?
  

Shutter Bug

I take a LOT of pictures. LOTS. You all see maybe ten percent of them online. Quite a few of my photos suck monkey balls and are deleted immediately. Some are really good, and still more, I spend hours playing with the lighting and the colors of the photo in the in camera editor.

I take pictures of the pictures the kids make.

I take pictures of the Smokey Pup...

A LOT of pictures of the Smokey Pup!

And of course I take a lot of pictures of the boys!

And the silly things they do too!

(Mr.Eight year old wrote "Hi my name is bread" In the butter)

My problem is my digital camera battery. I am not sure if it is becuase I take so many pictures, or if it is all the digital editing I do right on the camera, but I seem to be recharging it at least every three or four days.

Don't be Scared!

Bluepaintred is showing a 404 right now, and thats OK.

It might be showing a 404 error for two whole days and thats OK too.

Trust me, I have nobody working on it and it will all work out in the end!

Wow. Look at all the dust!

So I haven't even loaded Paint up in days and days! Whats wrong with me?

I have decided to begin anew the game of weffriddle.

It should make for some interesting and curse filled posts to come.

If you are looking for Weffriddles, feel free to click, BUT fair warning. FAIR WARNING, weffiriddles is very addictive.