Confessions of a closet Hypochondriac

I hate reading blogs by people who are sick.

There I said it.

My problem is that as they describe their symptoms and what they are going through I start to believe I have it to the point where I have panic attacks. I can't sleep at night for fear!

Here is a good example. Late last night, using the Stumble tool bar I came across a blog written my a woman who has breast cancer. Immediately I had her symptoms. I knew I should click the X, leave the page and try to forget about her heart wrenching story, but I read on and on. I did [enter random number here] self breast exams, in the shower, sitting, laying down, searching for the lump I knew had to be there.

Thank God there was no lump, but still, I found it really hard to close off my mind to the possibility that night when I tried to fall asleep.

I have taken on symptoms of Irritable Bowel syndrome, restless leg, fibromyalgia and even bad colds, just from reading other peoples posts.

I try my best to not read them, but I think it is like passing a car accident on the highway, I just cannot look away, and int he end I suffer the consequences by spending hours google-ing symptoms, having panic attacks, and suffering from insomnia.

My aching eyes

This morning, same as every morning I stumbled out of bed at 6:30, grabbed my pillow and headed for the couch. The husband went to work and I went to sleep.

I doze on the couch until 7 15 when the little girl I babysit gets here and then I wake up.

Only this morning I woke up at 6 45 from a weird sound.

The dog had my glasses and was chewing on them!

NOT good. My eyes are very sensitive with glasses, the littlest bit of dirt and I get an eyestrain headache and now, I have three big scratches along the lens.

Thank god I took that opp a few weeks ago. It got me off my butt and made me make an optometrist appointment so I will only have to wait until the 2nd to see my eye doc and then about a week after that for my new glasses to get in.

In the mean time, I don't suppose you know any way to get scratches out of glass, huh? It's been less that three hours and I have a raging headache :o(

I need a recipe

I need a recipe for strawberry JELLY.

We cannot seem to find any jelly in the stores, though we have looked and looked and looked. All the strawberry stuff is jam, with big bits of mushy strawberry. we want something that is smooth, and has very few to zero bits. I do not mind straining out the pieces LOL.

I have been up down and sideways all over Google today, but all the "jelly" recipes do not tell me how to get just the juices and how to thicken and crud like that. It all just says "crush"


Little help please!

Are you all sick of Puppy Talk yet?

'Cus I am not done talking about it.

Today's Puppy Talk Topic is going to be Shit.



Today I have spent more time outside with her than not. She wakes up, we go out, she plays, we go out, she eats, we go out, she sits, we go out, she barks, we go out, she whines, we go out. You must have gotten the drift by now.

And yet, even though she has been out more than in, she has pooped four times - so far, the day is NOT over- she did it twice in the hallway, in two different spots, once in the living room and once in the kitchen. And what the hell is with her walking through it when she is done? Like I don't have enough to do wiping up her poo, I have a nifty chocolate trail to follow too??

When she does it, I tell her NO and show her it, but the husband says no nose rubbing so don;t suggest that, he will freak out. Of course he is off at work while I am on doody duty!

What are my options short of putting her in diapers? Where am I going wrong, and HOW do I get her to go outdoors??

Yuck!

I am sitting in the garage right now having a smoke. I brought ht elap top out with the intention of surfing my boglines.

But. The garage smells. Badly!

Last night my husband BBQ'd some hamburgers for supper and they were awesome and the garage smelled awesome, but now? it reeks! I cannot really describe the smell, but trust me. you don;t want to be in here.

When I first woke up this morning it smelled so I opened the garage door to air it out. One would think that a full six hours of having a big twenty by twenty ( or uhm whatever size the door is) door open would be sufficient to get rid of the smell.

It's pretty chilly today, but the house is warm so I am wearing a pair of shorts. I shut the garage door thinking the smell was gone and i could at least be warm while i smoke but nooooooooo

pfft.


Speaking of Barbecuing, does anyone have a good recipe for barbecued ribs? Ive never made ribs in my life, but i really would love to cook some up before it gets too much colder and we have to put the BBQ away!

eBay Seller? Me??

lately I have been mulling the thought of trying to sell on eBay as opposed to only buying on it. But there are fees and things. Looking at the fee chart it appears that a percentage of the final sale goes, as well as having to pay a small fee for listing an item.

This is all good and well, I can see that the eBay fees itself will come out of the sale of whatever item, but what about shipping?

How do I know what to charge for shipping? Is there some sort of online thing that will say from here to there and there to here costs this amount?

I have a huge apple box full of old records. I don't even know if the work, how would you tell? My dad gave them to me a long time ago and asked me to sell them for him. At the time I took the box and said I would look into it, and haven;t done anything since.

Any help, ANY, is appriciated!

Please Help Me Organize a Search Party

I have lost my slippers and my feet are cold. I will need Four teams for the search and rescue party..

Team One will start the search in my bedroom. This team should concentrate their efforts on the two closets. Search high and low people and whatever you do, do not get separated. As a rule, closets are dangerous and you may not come out alive.
While you are in the closet, please feel free to take the Previously Hidden Easter candy out to the trash and hang up all of the clothing that has fallen.

Team two will concentrate on the basement. This team must consist of at least four people to keep with the buddy rule.

• Team Two A will concentrate on the storage part of the furnace room. Look in all of the boxes and bags, and do not forget to kill any spider you may see. These are sentry spiders and if left alive, they will bring reinforcements. Feel free to organize the room as you search.
• Team Two B will be focusing their search on the actual furnace room. Beware the large black shelf. Those haphazard piles are as unstable as they look and will fall with the slightest provocation. Please take note of the location of any and all winter clothing you find as I will need that information in the coming months. Again. Be sure to kill all sentry spiders.

Team Three has what will possibly be the hardest job of all. But with their struggle, they may be rewarded with national fame. As long as they do not die in a smelly avalanche of shoes that is. Thats right. Team Three must journey to the shoe closet located on the north.. uh south.. uhm the wall over there in the kitchen. You will likely find sand mud and various food particles that have been thrown from the babies plate. This closet has not been cleaned in at least two months. There are four shelves specially designed for shoes, but none of the shoes are on the shelves. As well, that large white bar suspended up high has not one coat hung on it's hangers as it is easier for everything to be shoved in and the door shut quickly so as to not let any item escape.

There are an additional two shelves piled high with various and sundry items. Each must be searched and organized in this monumental quest for my slippers.

Team Four will consist of Two people. One for each of my feet. Their job will be to warm, and possibly massage my feet until my slippers are found, dusted and placed on my feet. This is an important job and you can rest easy knowing I had my bath last night as well as a shower not even two hours ago. Team four can feel free to buff and paint my nails should they see fit.

As for the slippers themselves. They look much like the slippers in this photo, except I think they are black. However they might be grey or possibly blue. It has been a long summer and I simply do not remember these things. That's what I have you for!

All volunteer searchers should contact me at Findmyslippers@right now.com*as soon as possible so we can get organized and more importantly I can have warm feet again. Please state which team you wish to be on at the time of application and a number where I can reach you.

Thank you for your time!

(there will be coffee and cookies after my slippers are back in my arms on my feet again.)

*dude thats a fictional email, just as this is a fictional post. Well, not really. My feet are cold and I have no idea where my slippers are..., Also. There are no cookies. I flat-out lied about that!

My Tummy Just growled at me

My dinner today consisted of a bowl of cottage cheese and a bowl of Chocolate pudding. I know that in a few weeks I will be back to eating regular people food, but until then, My choices of food is pretty limited.

If it has to be chewed, I can't have it.

Here is a list of things I picked up today when we went shopping:

Jello - Banana Strawberry, Raspberry , Strawberry , Berry Berry (2 of each)
Pudding - Two boxes of instant Milk Chocolate
Stove top stuffing - although I'm not certain I will be able to eat this.
Cottage Cheese - the large size LOL
Chicken noodle soup - two boxes of the instant cup a soup packets
Porridge - brown sugar flavored
Cream of wheat - I know I like it, but can I cook it?

As you can see, My diet is very limited. If you have any suggestions of foods I can eat, please, PLEASE tell me.

But nothing with apples becuase apples are GROSS!

Also. Who thinks I will lose weight during all of this? No chips, no chocolate, no candy, no sandwiches? Really, no good stuff LOL.

I think I am guaranteed to lose at least a few LBS!

I need your help!

Recently, I created a new blog. It's called Where Was I? I had help from the always sweet Nobody to get it on it's own domain, but for some reason, Google does not recognize Where Was I?

Now. It's really really important that Google come to love my sweet baby blog becuase its conception was planned purely for monetizing reasons. But. Unless I can get some sort of a page rank, and trust me, I would take a one at this point!, I can;t do anything with her at all!

So. Here is what I get when I check - or try to check - my blogs info:

Warning: fopen(/home/google/public_html/domains/where-was-i.com//index.php) [function.fopen]: failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /home/google/public_html/function1.php on line 36

Warning: fwrite(): supplied argument is not a valid stream resource in /home/google/public_html/function1.php on line 58
NOT Valid !!!!

So what are those lines (36 and 58) and how do I fix it?

Anyone know??