Wednesday, October 01, 2008

For Robin

Yesterday Robin inferred that Wal*Mart, my favorite of favorite stores, SUCKS!


I told Robin that just for her, I would write a post and try to explain why I love Wal*Mart so damn much. Here goes:

Dear Wal*Mart;

While I find it offensive being verbally accosted by the group of weirdos who would be better off in drug rehabilitation than standing in front of your doors, David MORE than makes up for it. I've "Known" David for about three years now. His scars concern me. I know that he is mentally handicapped by the way he carries himself and the way he speaks. The one scar goes from ear to ear like his head had been split right in half! I worry about him.

When we walk in the store, David does his hobble/run over to us, mussing the babies hair, and handing out stickers. He likes to tell us what he did that weekend. We like to listen. Last Weekend, David got Bender necklace - you know, bender from Futurama - Its pretty cool. I wish I had one.

David always makes me smile. I actually get pretty bummed when we stop in and he is not working.

You see, Wal*Mart, We only go shopping every two weeks, On PayDay, and your store, with it's many wonders, lets us get our shopping over and done with. You have clothes, and shoes, and baby supplies, food, pet supplies, and cleaning crap (I hate cleaning. Please discontinue all cleanning products so that it will no longer be required of me. Thanks.)

I love the fact that if I walk past the gang of drug rehab rejects that hang around the layaway section, I will find my self surrounded by a cornicopia of shoes. And sometimes, those shoes are marked down to three dollars. And I buy them. I buy them all!

I love that I can ditch hubs and the boys in the electronics section and go to your instore McDonalds for a coffee and a Big Mac, and I love the fact that you carry the normal AND abnormal colors of nail polish.

In closeing Wal*Mart, I truly do love you. You DO have lower prices on most things, But the fact that I can complete nearly all of my shopping in one stop, makes up for even the smelliest of washrooms!

All my love,

1 comment:

Robin said...

That was touching, I started to tear up. I may have to do my own post one day, you inspired me.